Woman invented chaotic singles party after years of frustration with dating apps

  • Cassidy Davis threw a house party with 65 men she matched with on dating apps, calling it a “chaotic singles party”.
  • The concept was a hit, so Davis continues to perform at venues around Los Angeles, despite meeting her now-boyfriend at her first party.
  • The cozy atmosphere includes icebreaker games and heart tokens for guests to flirt with.

Cassidy Davis had spent five years dating single men in Los Angeles and was tired of it.

On dating apps, Davis said he would match with seemingly compatible magicians, actors, writers and musicians, but grew weary when his in-person hookups were lackluster or downright disappointing.

“A dumpster fire is how I would describe it,” said Davis, who works as an actor. As Valentine’s Day approached last year, she decided to delete her dating apps and try something completely different.

She instructed her female friends to invite dating app matches they haven’t yet met into her apartment for a mixer. Worried that no one would show up, Davis invited 65 men she had matched with on Tinder and Hinge. Davis made a TikTok of the event, which she called the “Chaotic Singles Party”, which went viral with 1.7 million likes and over 1,000 comments, many from users who said they wanted to participate or launch their own. And after Davis received raves from her own guests (including one who would soon become her boyfriend), she decided to continue throwing lively parties at venues in various Los Angeles neighborhoods. The concept remains: if you’re participating, use it as an opportunity to invite someone you’ve matched with on an app but are still a stranger.

Davis said her millennial and Gen Z guests, who typically learn about Chaotic Singles Party on TikTok or Instagram, often tell her how refreshing and welcoming the in-person experience is after years of relying on dating apps to find love. She has hosted 17 parties in 2022, mostly in Los Angeles, and wants to expand to five new cities this year as her social media followings across the country are begging for their own parties, she said.

Davis hooked up with her now-boyfriend on her first mixer, but she still plays them

When Davis planned her first party, she said she broke her own rule and invited a handsome man she met at a bar, not on dating apps. She knew she had a crush on him, but didn’t know if the feelings were mutual, so she hatched a sneaky plan involving a video confessional.

“Guys, tell us who you’re in love with,” Davis told her guests after placing her phone in her bathroom, a makeshift private booth for a confessional-style video she later uploaded to TikTok. In it, she and her now boyfriend of a year admitted that they liked each other.

Even out of business, Davis decided to keep curating the parties for her single friends and social media followers who raved about the concept. She said the focus on her guests, rather than her own search for partnership, was an unexpected benefit.

“It kind of allows me to be everybody’s wing and friend at these events,” Davis told Insider.

Since her first party, Davis has found ways to make the experience more welcoming. She added icebreaker games like question cards that ask “What’s the worst date you’ve been on?”

Each guest also receives a “heart of gold”, a sticker they can give to their main crush before the night is over.

“And there’s always that hot guy covered in hearts of gold at the end,” Davis said.

This year, Davis estimated that between 250 and 350 singles attended each Chaotic Singles Party. She hosted social media influencers and saw some contestants from the Netflix reality show “The Circle” there as well. Ticket prices ranged from $10 to $85 depending on the specific party.

Cassidy Davis created her

An estimated 250 to 350 singles land on each mixer, Davis told Insider.

Taylor Wong’s photography

You don’t have to be an extrovert to join the Chaotic Singles Party

Davis said she’s always been an extrovert, so she knew a mixer would be more rewarding for her than meeting men on dating apps.

But for those who are introverted and worried about fitting into a big singles mixer, Davis said he’s set up the event to be welcoming to anyone looking to take the leap of faith to find connections.

She said that once, a group of single women bought tickets to the Chaotic Singles Party, thinking they would make it a mere pit stop on their nights out. But after hitting bars where it wasn’t clear who was looking for new hookups, they went back to Davis’ event for the rest of the night.

“They said, ‘We missed the energy of the singles party where everyone was open. Everyone was welcoming, and even if they didn’t like us, they were kind and respectful. Whereas in a regular bar, it’s a lot meaner, a lot more like a jungle,” Davis said.

She said she estimates that half of her participants are self-described introverts who want to push themselves outside of their comfort zones. For nervous beginners, she suggested treating the event as a social experiment and inviting a cute stranger you matched with on a dating app. Even if you don’t click, their hopeful energy can propel you towards other fun hookups, Davis said.

“I feel like really putting yourself out there energetically opens the door to more dating opportunities. Maybe that’s the woo-woo LA girl in me, but I really believe that. My best advice is to be bold and step out of your comfort zone. ”

Woman invented chaotic singles party after years of frustration with dating apps

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