Psychologist and mental health coach Dr. Lalitaa Suglani shared a very interesting Instagram post about this. She highlighted the things you need to stop doing consciously or unconsciously for healthy relationships. According to Harvard Health Publishing, people who have successful and fulfilling relationships are happier, have fewer health problems and live longer.
How you approach a relationship can be driven by your past experiences in many ways. You will also be guided by the evolution of your ties over time and the effort the other person is willing to put in to make things work.
Tips to avoid toxic relationships
Having strong emotional boundaries is one of the first steps you need to take to avoid toxic relationships. Be aware of how you feel and how others make you feel in a given situation.
Dr. Lalitaa Suglani suggests the following to maintain healthy relationships:
1. STOP being silent about the things that hurt you
Silence is the greatest revenge, the saying goes. But revenge is not the healthiest way to handle relationships. It will only make toxic relationships worse for you. Sometimes people avoid conflict by staying silent and waiting for things to get better. Sometimes people even excuse unhealthy behavior because of their own feelings towards the other person. But “dishonoring your own boundaries to keep the peace” isn’t the way to deal with toxic relationships, says Dr. Suglani.
Not speaking out against injustice or something you don’t agree with will lead to pent-up emotions and the bubble will burst someday. Before that happens, break the silence and express what you feel. A healthy relationship is all about having the freedom to share your heart and mind.
2. STOP refusing to let go
When a relationship seems to be going bad or you see signs of a toxic relationship, stop being afraid to let go. At any time, if you feel suffocated from not being treated properly over and over again, step back and let the person loose. When we refuse to let go because we are afraid of what might happen next, it can really be detrimental to a relationship.
Your bonds with your loved ones should be about love, not fear. They should be comforting and not distracting. So avoid having toxic energy in your life and release it when you need it.
Also Read: Ditch a Toxic Romance and Find Self-Love
3. STOP expecting people to read your mind
Expectations are the root of suffering, they say. And you bet, they say it right. It’s not even about expecting gifts, trips or tours. You can hurt your chances of healthy relationships the moment you start expecting people to know what’s on your mind. When you expect something but get something else – or worse, nothing – in return, it continues to build the foundation of a toxic relationship. It’s just simpler to express what you expect. Exercise healthy communication for healthy relationships.
4. STOP being too busy for your relationships
We may not realize it, but the moment we start to be ‘too busy’ to do and spend time together with people, the more distance keeps growing. Stop doing that, suggests Dr. Suglani. Time is the greatest gift you can give your relationships. Not talking to people enough or not listening to them enough will only build thicker walls. So take the time and put in the extra effort if your schedule is busy. People who really care will always appreciate it!
5. STOP trying to get ‘even’
Relationships are about emotions. We understand that anger is as natural an emotion as love and passion, but bonding is not about trying to get even with anyone. Sometimes when you react to a situation in an angry way, it can hurt them emotionally. The side effects of anger in a relationship are many. Even if you’re trying to deal with a toxic situation, it’s best to calm down first. Anger will only exacerbate things and push you further away from your dream of healthy relationships and into toxic relationships.