A woman whose TikTok profile is called “Work Chronicles” recently shared a video in which she listed some of the rules her parents imposed on her as a child. At the time, she said she thought they were perfectly normal, but speaking to friends, she now considers them “toxic.”
She grew up realizing that her parents might have been “toxic,” but TikTok viewers disagree.
In the posted video, the woman first said her parents let her walk around the block for 20 minutes until she was sophomore in high school. According to her, they timed her to make sure she actually took a long walk.
Then the young woman told viewers, “My parents stalk Life 360 religiously. They check the speed I’m driving and stuff to make sure everything is okay. But really, they just want to check if I’m speeding. And every time I go too fast, my mom calls me while I’m driving and tells me to slow down.”
Her next concern was that her mom and dad made sure her phone wasn’t in the room with her while she slept. She said they had a “designated location” to be placed downstairs before she went to bed.
Her parents enforced a strict routine, checking on people she planned to visit and going against the doctor’s advice.
Her parents required her to make a timetable to follow during school breaks. It had to be approved by them and include a time for her to wake up and a bedtime. She explained that they wanted her to have a routine and to be aware of her location.
Whenever she decided to hang out with friends, the young lady claims that her parents would need confirmation from that friend’s parents so that they were always aware of where their daughter was and what she was doing. She thinks it was because of a lack of confidence in her.
There was a time when a doctor recommended therapy for her and her siblings and instead of going to the one recommended, her mother found private therapists she preferred. Apparently she found them on a Catholic website and selected them according to her preferences. The woman says that the therapy was over within ten weeks.
Her parents were very interested in her success in school, they needed above average grades and constant communication.
When she and her siblings went to private school, she said her parents wouldn’t allow them to get grades lower than a “C+” and threatened to put them back in public school if they did. Of course, her parents regularly checked the numbers to make sure the kids were following the rules.
Finally, she said her parents wanted to be included in all email correspondence with teachers. She claimed: “One day when they thought they hadn’t been cc’d in an email they got so p-ssed, they contacted the teacher and said we need everything and it led to disaster .”
What seemed toxic to her was overwhelmingly seen as “good parenting” by others who considered her complaints.
Many were confused by her labeling her parents’ behavior as “toxic.” For them, though super-rigorous or even strict, it was normal parenting that included supervision and discipline.
Parents around the world ensure that their children go outside every day for fresh air and exercise. And when our kids start driving, it’s our job to make sure they obey the traffic rules and stay safe.
Also seizing phones at night is not uncommon. Growing kids and teens need at least 8-10 hours of sleep and a phone can definitely prevent that.
In terms of keeping on schedule during breaks from school, parents may have been aware of the many benefits of having teens structured. It keeps them on track and organized, inspires discipline, helps achieve goals, and can stave off anxiety. Scheduling your kids’ days can help them stay engaged and keep worries at bay.
That said, context matters and it’s not for anyone else to judge whether this woman’s parents enforced their strict rules in a toxic way.
The rules are undoubtedly extensive and sometimes even a little too far — after all, your children need your trust and a longer line is important for their personal development. But to parents on TikTok, this woman’s child rules seem like something they admire or maybe even want to enforce! Perhaps their children will be the final judges as to whether these rules were toxic after all.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.