Set healthy boundaries with your teen

Ah, the teenage years. A time when your teen wants to plant their independence flag — and that’s healthy. But there are times when your teen will see just how far he can push boundaries, leaving you feeling lost on how to navigate your way through those turbulent moments of slamming doors and rolling eyes.

“You may not think so, but kids really crave boundaries,” says Lisa Foley, a licensed clinical psychologist at the University of Utah Health’s Huntsman Mental Health Institute. “Setting personal boundaries helps to reduce conflict while creating a relationship of trust.” Foley advises parents to listen to their teen without interrupting (it’s hard, we know) and discuss what behaviors are acceptable.

Borders create digital safe zones

With a smartphone in every teen’s pocket and a computer screen in every bedroom, teens have more ways to spend their free time than ever before. But those hours spent with technology come at a cost: increased anxiety, loss of privacy, and exposure to unhealthy online relationships. It’s important to approach internet safety with a curiosity, not an agenda. Talk openly about transgressive online behaviour. When teens feel safe because of your rules, they can face challenges with confidence.

Privileges, not punishment

Focus on rewarding your teen with privileges. Those privileges, such as using the car and extending the time allowed online, come with your teen showing responsibility. It also helps to avoid that no-win power struggle.

Keep the big picture sharp

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and take outbursts personally. Instead, focus on the life skills you want your teen to develop, from conflict resolution to critical thinking. Remember that disrespectful teenage behavior is not a sign of parental failure. It means your teen is acting like a normal teen. Perhaps you remember those years of your own!

Boundaries create learning experiences

Setting boundaries for your teen will keep them safe while acknowledging their growing need for independence. It’s also a smart way to create a learning experience for your teen by helping them set boundaries for themselves, which is important if they’re going it alone.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch

If you or someone you know is going through a mental health crisis, call or text 988, which provides easily accessible compassionate care for people going through any type of mental health crisis, including thoughts of suicide, self-harm and substance use, or any emotional distress to themselves or their loved ones. loved ones.