Not all of us share the same philosophy about money, how we earn and spend it, or how we invest it. Unfortunately, friction around the topic of money and finances can lead to greater relationship problems, such as so-called financial infidelity, where people hide their purchases from their partners.
Postponing that conversation can often do more harm than good, and research shows that about 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partner, according to Bread Financial.
Interestingly, the same Bread Financial survey found that 45% of married adults admit to committing some form of financial infidelity in their relationships.
Allowing financial problems to interfere with your relationship and love life can have lasting effects on you and your partner. It is not always possible to immediately understand how everyone you meet works with money, and before pulling the cart before the horse, it is always better to make a clear judgment before jumping to conclusions.
However, there are often financial red flags that begin to reveal themselves over time as the relationship progresses. And while you don’t want to feel like you’re telling the other person what they can and shouldn’t do with their money, it’s usually best to acknowledge these issues and share an open dialogue with your partner before it escalates into bigger issues.
Financial Red Flags
Here’s a brief look at some of the financial red flags that could be hurting your relationship without you even knowing it.
Your partner has ongoing financial problems
Let’s face it, we all have financial problems, and many times they are carried around with us for long periods of time, only to be resolved when we seek advice or guidance.
While financial problems can look different for everyone, from big debt to low credit scores, or even overspending, financial problems are financial problems that can be resolved with the right help or by talking to someone who is more knowledgeable in the matter.
On average, about two-thirds of all Americans use credit cards, with the average person having at least three credit cards according to CreditNinja.
Jumping from one financial trap to another without learning from past mistakes can no longer be seen as a coincidence, but rather as an active decision to ignore what other people are saying or to find ways to solve problems.
Unfortunately, having money problems and not being willing to do something to solve those problems or improve the situation can be a problem that can hurt you and your partner and potentially others who may be involved.
lack of financial prosperity
There’s no denying that not all of us are at the same stage of life in our careers and financial prosperity. You will often find someone who has recently started a new career or who has just returned to the workforce after being laid off. Perhaps your spouse decides to go back to school and is heavily dependent on your income to support the household.
At some other point, there will come a point where you or your partner will reach a point where you can create healthy financial habits, such as saving for a specific goal, putting some money aside for retirement, or looking into traveling or even starting a business. .
If you notice that your partner is at a point in their life and career where they can save and invest their earnings but don’t have the financial capacity, consider talking about how they can save some money for retirement or even put you in a savings. account.
Consider where they might be in their lives and seek guidance yourself so that after you talk, you’re informed and can provide actionable practices that you both can use.
They tend to be irresponsible with money.
Overspending isn’t difficult these days, and more often than not, we find ourselves spending more money than we budget for. There are many instances where we may have bought something on a whim without giving it much thought, or used some of our savings to pay for other expenses – this tends to happen to most of us.
However, there comes a point where you will need to deal with irresponsible spending on your partner, especially if it starts to take its toll on you or the family.
Ask yourself: Does your partner spend their income on luxuries before paying for more important things like rent, groceries or utilities? Do they buy items without thinking about the short-term financial repercussions they might have? Are they likely to run out of money at the beginning or during the month? Do they borrow from you and forget to pay?
Maybe you find that they hide their purchases from you after you confront them, or they can’t tell you about their purchases.
These and other valuable questions will be a key indicator of how your partner works with their money and whether they are simply being irresponsible and ignoring their financial responsibilities for their own good.
Ignore your financial responsibilities
Many of us have some sort of financial responsibility, whether it’s paying down student loan debt or even making monthly car payments. Every month we budget according to our financial needs and make sure our money can last until we get our next paycheck.
In some cases, people tend to neglect their financial responsibilities, often relying on their loved ones or partners to pay for their mistakes or help them pay for things like rent, utilities and other major expenses.
Setting a budget for your partner or even your family can help you see where your money is going and what it’s being spent on. If your partner deliberately ignores these efforts and uses the money on less important purchases, it shows that he is unwilling to commit financially or improve his actions.
Bringing up irresponsible financial behavior with your partner or spouse is never easy and can be uncomfortable at first, but for the long-term well-being of your relationship, it’s important to voice your concerns and share guidance whenever possible.
Your partner is drowning in debt
While we all want to be debt free, many couples, even those who are married, carry some form of debt. Research shows that 7 out of 10 Americans marry with some debt, be it credit card debt or student loan debt.
Balancing your debt is not an easy task and requires you to be delicate with your income and spending habits. Ensuring that you don’t miss payments and that you are able to pay off your debt is a financial priority for many of us.
Yes, some of us may be more in debt than others, and we often see our partners bringing debt into a relationship but ignoring the importance of paying it off on time. Being in a relationship or marriage riddled with debt is more common than we think, and some individuals may disregard their debt responsibilities, hoping their partners will help them pay them off.
Understanding how your partner built up their debts over time and what they are doing to pay them off will give you a clear indication of their financial responsibilities and financial savvy. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and many times many people hide their debts from their partners or get into more debt due to irresponsible spending or money habits.
Ignores the importance of talking about money
Another red flag to look out for is if your partner deliberately ignores a conversation about money.
Often they may feel intimidated, even afraid or unwilling to share financial issues because they may be afraid of the results, but if they are not open to solving your financial problems, then you could have to deal with bigger problems in the future. .
The “money talk” is never easy and can be an uncomfortable confrontation to have with your partner or spouse. If you’re not sure where they are with the money, then it’s best to ask or question them about it when you feel the time is right to do so.
If you find that they are putting off the idea of establishing a budget for their family, or if you are in a marriage where one person is unwilling to make financial concessions, you may want to resolve these issues as soon as possible.
Not everyone may be open to discussing their monetary values, or even their income, so be patient with your partner and see how you can make the conversation less uncomfortable or awkward for them.
It’s best to think about how short-term solutions can help your relationship in the long run, but also make sure you help him build a financial future with someone else.
parting thoughts
Being with someone committed to someone who is irresponsible with their money or unwilling to improve their financial situation can harm your relationship and your well-being.
Addressing financial issues in a relationship isn’t easy, but the sooner you can get on the same page about making your money work for both of you, the more likely you are to share the same values and philosophy regarding your household finances.
When confronting your partner or spouse about their finances, make sure they feel comfortable sharing their views and ask where you can help them if they need guidance. Rather than ignoring these questions, see how you can work together to overcome financial difficulties and build a thriving relationship.
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