Psychologist and mental health coach Dr. Lalitaa Suglani shared a very interesting Instagram post about this. She emphasized the things one needs to consciously or unconsciously stop doing healthy relationships. According to Harvard Health Publishing, people in successful and fulfilling relationships are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.
The way you approach a relationship can be shaped by your past experiences in many ways. It will also be driven by how your bonds evolve over time, and the effort the other person is willing to put in to make things work.
Tips to avoid toxic relationships
Having strong emotional boundaries is one of the first steps you should take to avoid toxic relationships. Be aware of how you feel and how others make you feel in a given situation.
Dr. Lalitaa Suglani suggests the following to maintain healthy relationships:
1. STOP being silent about things that hurt you
Silence is the greatest revenge, the saying goes. But revenge isn’t the healthiest way to handle relationships. It will only make toxic relationships worse for you. Sometimes people avoid conflict by staying silent and hoping things will get better. Sometimes people even apologize for unhealthy behavior because of their own feelings for the other person. But “dishonoring your own boundaries to keep the peace” isn’t the way to handle toxic relationships, Dr. Suglani says.
If you don’t speak out against injustice or something you might not agree with, it will lead to pent-up emotions and the bubble will burst one day. Before that happens, break the silence and express what you feel. A healthy relationship is all about the freedom to share your heart and mind.
2. STOP refusing to let go
If a relationship seems to be going downhill or you notice signs of a toxic relationship, stop being afraid to let go. If at any point you feel suffocated because you are not being treated well on an ongoing basis, step back and let the person go. If we refuse to let go because we’re afraid of what might happen next, it can be really unhealthy for a relationship.
Your bond with your loved ones should be about love, not fear. They should be reassuring and not distracting. So avoid toxic energy in your life and release when necessary.
Also Read: Let Go Of A Toxic Romance And Find Self-Love
3. STOP expecting people to read your mind
Expectations are the root of suffering, they say. And you can count on them saying it right. It’s not even about expecting gifts, trips, or outings. You can hinder your chances of healthy relationships the moment you expect people to know what you’re up to. Expecting something but getting something else in return – or worse, nothing – continues to lay the groundwork for a toxic relationship. It’s just easier to express what you expect. Practice healthy communication for healthy relationships.
4. STOP being too busy for your relationships
We may not realize it, but the moment we become ‘too busy’ to take time off and spend time with people, the distance becomes greater and greater. Stop doing this, suggests Dr. Suglani. Time is the greatest gift you can give your relationships. Not talking to people enough or not hearing them enough only builds thicker walls. So make time and put in the extra effort if your schedule is busy. People who really care will always cherish it!
5. STOP trying to “get it right”
Relationships are about emotions. We understand that anger is as natural an emotion as love and passion, but bonding is not about trying to get “revenge” on someone. Sometimes when you react to a situation in an angry way, you can emotionally scar them. The side effects of anger in a relationship are many. Even if you’re trying to deal with a toxic situation, it’s best to calm down first. Anger will only make things worse and will move you further away from your dream of a healthy relationship and push you towards toxic ones.